Rattlesnake Shake | SouthernPaddler.com

Rattlesnake Shake

bearridge

Well-Known Member
Mar 9, 2005
3,092
4
way down yonder
A few years back Eddie, Robert 'n Bo shoved off on the Big Muddy ta enjoy a fine day on the water 'n drink some beer. Eddie likes ta git a head start on the beer drinkin', but he waits til after 5. [5 a.m.] They mite have done some fishin', but Bo seen this rattlesnake in the river. Ya dont see that ever day. Bo allows az how he aims ta grab it behind the head....the way everbody grabs a bad snake.

Jest az they come upon that rattler, Robert figgers he will grab it. He misfigerated 'n grabbed it too far behind the head. It swung round 'n bit him in the finger. Robert flung that snake in the boat 'n Bo kilt it. Eddie sez "this iz bad.....real bad....ya mite die."

They headed back ta shore. Robert sez "man.....my finger iz turnin' black 'n swole up like a summer sausage". Eddie sez "aw man, that aint good, yer likely ta die". Bo tried ta help 'n cranked up hiz pickup when they got back. Eddie unloaded the beer cooler.

On the ride ta the hospital Robert sez he iz dizzy. Eddie sez "man yer gwine ta die fer sho....that iz really bad." Eddie opened hiz 13th....mebbe 15th beer of the mornin'. Robert sez "kin I have a beer". Eddie stopped, looked at hiz pal 'n sez "naw.....ya aint likely ta live long enuff ta finish it".

They pulled up inta the hospital parkin' lot, jest outside the emergency room 'n begun ta honk the horn. By 'n by some hospital folk come outside ta see what all the commotion wuz bout. Eddie sez "ya'll hurry up, hiz nukalogikle system iz near bout gone".

I didnt know Eddie had so much medikle know how. I knew he hooked up the hot wires on grain bins, folk's houses, stores 'n factories. He wired some of the stuff out on the farm. My brother tole me he liked ta stick close ta Eddie in case he grabbed the wrong wires. The older ya git, I reckon it iz eazier ta mess up 'n grab a hot wire. That will sho nuff mess up yer nukalogikle system.

The End.