(NOT) In A Nutshell

[Kayak Jack]

In years past, I pretty much enjoyed the holidays. I could take refuge from weeks and weeks of Christmas carols on the radio, syrupy stories on TV, and hordes of rude people in malls and department stores - by sitting serenely at home, bowl in lap, and tools in hand - cracking and eating mixed nuts in the shell. No more, it seems. WHERE HAVE ALL THE NUTS IN SHELLS GONE??!!

Sonofagun, while I enjoy toasted nuts, lightly salted with sea salt, all encased in a tightly capped plastic jar, just eating the nut as it fell from the tree renders some unique satisfaction. I even enjoyed some colorful flames when the discarded nutshells burn in the fireplace.

Now, this isn't a world shaking concern like whether or not your chewing gum may lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight. But, it does rank higher than worrying about whether or not I can get a properly flavored cup of coffee at the nearby coffeeteria.

 

[oldyaker]

The Grinch stole your nuts just to piss you off! He don’t like Christmas either!
Try roasting some chestnuts in that fireplace Scrooge McDuck. I get them at the (as Sparkster sez) Eye-tal-yun store around autumn . Goes well with Dago Red!

 

[grandpa paddler]

Seems like salted peanuts and pistachios in the shell are available year round. WHY? They just ain't worth eatin'. The good nuts, pecans, walnuts, chestnuts, etc. are seasonal 'round here. They show up 'fore Thanksgiving and stick around 'til New Years then they are harder to find. Shelled nuts are always available in the baking section and the snack sections.

(think I'll head for the pantry and grab a handful of cashews)

 

[Kayak Jack]

I get pistacios in the shell. But, still miss the mixture and variety that used to was.

 

[oldsparkey]

I get Pistachios , Pecans , Peanuts ( The Three P's ) locally. Sometimes even Walnut's and Hazelnuts in the shell . I wish I could find Brazil Nuts in the shell , use to have fun opening them when I was a kid. Those Brazil nuts required some effort and you had to be careful not to use to much force with the nut cracker so you did not smash the meat and could get it out in one piece.
That brings back another memory.........
The folks had a wooden bowl with a pedestal in the center. The pedestal was a part of the bowl and it helped to make a moat around it where you put a asortment of the nuts. The top of the pedestal had a metal grid on it. That metal grid helped to hold the nut in place plus it keep the wood from taking a beating. You used a small but fairly long handled miniature hammer to hit the nut with. Being careful to crack the shell and not hit your finger. You learned really early to be easier with the hammer and miss your finger.

 

[Kayak Jack]

My all time favorite nut, is the black walnut. Closely followed by hickory snd hazel nuts i still have 6" X 2" X 2" chunk of steel that was my anvil. I'd crouch near the wood stove, and crack nuts. I learned that if you wrap a rag around the shell before whacking, the sharp chunks of black walnut shell was contsined. Otherwise, the little SOBs would shatter and scatter. If Mom had to sweep them up, I got scolded. If she didn't find them first, my bare, little feet would find them. OUCH!!!

After eating black walnuts, English walnuts are just a bitter disappointment.

 

[oldyaker]

Interesting.... just heard on TV that peanuts are not nuts! They are actually legumes... BEANS! That magical fruit....

 

[Kayak Jack]

And, here's some more info for us. Eating legumes (beans, peanuts, etc.) together with a grsin (rice, oats, wheat, corn, rye, etc,) combines these two substances into protien! So, when we eat refried beans and Spanish rice, we're making protien Think of some of the dishes we ate whisl growing up - succotash (limas and corn), peanut butter sandwiches (wheat bread and peanut legume), corn on the cob & baked beans, etc.

Dang it ! Mom was right again!

 

[oldyaker]

Suffer’n Succotash Jack! You are a plethora of information! Re-eaten beans!!!

 

[Kayak Jack]

Uhhh no, not re-eaten; refried. JARVIS good eatin!!

 

[oldyaker]

So Jack, I became curious about the term “Jarvis” that I have heard from you before... I got on Al Gores internet and poked around.

“Jarvis is a British surname and occasional masculine given name. Variant of Gervase (old German origin) and brought to England by the Normans. ... This name is derived from combining an Old Gcrman name meaningspear, and the Celtic word for servant. Famous bearer: martyr St Gervase who died in Milan.”
Also... “
Jarvis
To ‘jarvis’ something is a term commonly used amongst medical professionals when a colleaguecauses a patient to let blood unnecessarily during a routine procedure.

By extension ‘jarvis’ can also mean to screw up something simple.
Dammit Franklin, if you jarvis one more IV I swear to God...

David really jarvised the Christmas Tree when he put the star on the wrong way up.”
Also...
Jarvis
“An alternative name for defecation.
Oh man I shouldn't have eaten that Indian food last night, I really need a Jarvis.”
Just a few explanations from the urban dictionary.

 

[grandpa paddler]

Dang it ! Mom was right again!

'Twas generally the case in our house.

 

[Kayak Jack]

Innngggterrestink!
Jimmie, you just consumed about 2 years of your academia. Etemology jumped forward by that same, 2 year chunk.

 

[oldyaker]

I’m sorry Jack.... I had a colonoscopy back in March and I think when the VA Doctor clipped a polyp out he accidentally took part of my brain instead.

 

[Kayak Jack]

Aye god Jim - he took the best part of ya!!