Buffalo River 08

[bearridge]

( Chuck here.... Before you start reading this , take a potty break , get a cup of Joe and get ready for a tail about camping an paddling , solo style. It is like a potato chip once you start you will want all of it/them )

Fellas,

I reckon ya'll seen I made it back? When all ya'll read this fine river tale yer gwine ta see how I come close ta a Mister Chuck Darwin Award, dishonorable mention. When I got off the river, I drove up ta the Bluff 'n I spent a hour with Tom ('n a few glasses of Dago Red) tellin' him jest what me 'n Dan done on this expedishun. They all got good times 'n bad times. I am sho some of them South Pole explorin' fellas who froze jest a few hunerd yards frum home base seen good times too. I reckon that iz enuf hyperbolatin'.

After enuff wine we figgered Miz Bear wuz ta blame fer everythin' that went wrong. She been with me near bout all day 'n all nite fer the last 10 years so the part of my brain that used ta recall stuff dont work so good anymore. The High Sheriff, oldyaker, Paddlin' Gator, Swampy, Commodore 'n a few others on here recall that time I fergot all the homemade chocolate cookies Winnie made fer the 2005 Buffalo River Expedishun http://sports.webshots.com/album/323974553ZYiqhf 'er me leavin' them dang hot dog buns in my truck on one of the St. Mary expedishuns, but forgettin' where ta meet up with yer friendly Arkansaw shuttle bunny jest aint a good sign.

Miz Bear aint likely ta fergit no homemade cookies....which she later sez she ate. Ate ever dang one of 'em....so it wuz hard when everbody went ta bashin' me. I jest plain fergot. I didnt eat no homemade cookies. Miz Bear would not have fergot the hot dogs buns either. I know forgettin' hot dog buns aint like when ya pull the pin off a hand bomb by mistake, but it iz jest more straws on the camel.

Here iz my short tale. I drove cross the flooded part of the Arkansas delta Sunday. What wuz rivers iz now lakes. I drove some new (ta me) mountain twistin', turnin', steep roads ta git ta Ponca....where I met Dan 's friend who runs the Buffalo Outdoor Center. http://www.buffaloriver.com/ I asked if I kin park my truck at hiz place 'n if I kin set Tom's computin' machine in hiz office til Dan shows up on Tuesday ta pick up my truck 'n drive it ta the take out spot. He sez I kin, but if anyone messed with my tructk he'd shoot 'em dead. He sez in 20 years he aint never had no break in. That wuz good enuff fer me.

I drove down ta the Ponca Bridge. It wuz 40 cars 'n trucks parked 'n 5-10 canoes 'n kayaks loadin' ta put in. It wuz 1:30 p.m. The sun wuz so hot it near bout made me blind. The water wuz very high....no air space under the bridge. The water level had not dropped in 8 hours frum 3.75', cuz of the 100 year flood on March 18 'n the second flood at the end of March had the ground wuz soaked good. Nobody else at the put in had no camping gear.....jest beer coolers.

I cast my memory back ta the April 2005 trip 'n wished that all the Paddlin' Geezers on that trip wuz here with me....on a beautiful day, not a dull, gray, rainy day. After I unloaded my boat 'n all my gear, I drove back ta the Buffalo Outdoor Center, parked my truck, changed inta Lo Mien, give 'em my key 'n walked 300 yards back down the highway ta the put in where my canoe gear wuz waitin'. Many cars passed by, but none stopped. Some wuz likely scairt I had a RPG 'er mebbe they figgered I mite tell 'em bout the "Yellow Book"? They all stood back when Lo Mien come down ta the river bank. An algebraic teacher frum Dardanelle High School come over ta brag on the geometry of my hat....angles, formulas 'n such.......kinda like Greek.

The water looked a few inches higher'n it wuz back in 2005. On the river I moved fast. Roark Bluff come up first, then many named 'n unnamed bluffs fer the rest of the 20+ miles over the next 2.5 days. Before I knew it I wuz at the Steel Creek Campground.....2.5 miles downriver frum the Ponca Bridge. I give a thought ta campin' there cuz I shoved off so late in the day 'er I mite paddle on down ta Kyles Landing (the spot where the Paddling Geezer Canoe Clud camped the second day back in 2005) jest fer old times sake. However, movin' so fast I went a few hundred yards past Steel Creek before I made up my mind 'n come upon a nice solo tent camp site on a gravel bar.

This wuz a near bout perfect paddlin' day. I likely shoved off at Ponca Bridge round 3 p.m. (long after the folks piled in them 40 cars 'n all the shuttled folks had shoved off) so I didnt see hardly anybody on the river after I pulled off. I seen 5-10 folks paddle by. It wuz a beautiful Sunday afternoon. When ya paddle 'n camp by yerownself it makes yer eyes see, 'n yer ears hear, far. Sorry if that sounds like Dances with Wolves, but all "primitive" folks live like that, while the civilized folk listen ta Muzak.

I set up camp....Lord I wish I had some little Pygmies to carry my gear, set up camp....ya know...like in that Robert Redford movie..."Out Frum Africa"? I figger Hemingway hunted like that, but not Faulkner. I do better ever time I set up camp. I quit makin' many of the mistakes I made on other trips. The cheap aluminium foldin' table frum the Communists aka WalMart wuz great. After I finished my chores.....early in the afternoon cuz I pulled off early.....I sat in my comfortable plastic, Communist, folding chair with arm rests 'n a high back. My eyes begun ta see far. Az the sun set behind the bluffs, the turkey buzzards come out ta enjoy the end of the day. That evening there wuz only bout 15 of them ridin' the thermals, gracefully, touchin' wings ever now 'n then, dogfightin', floatin', driftin', watchin' the sunset hunerds of miles off frum 300' above me.

I am sad ta report that without my dear friend Swampy chatterin' on bout things great 'n small, I heard the sound of a four wheeler, a few Harley Boys 'n other jerks with loud mufflers.....a horror near bout az bad az a neighbor with more'n three dogs.

I made one mistake Sunday night. I didn't find a level spot fer my tent. I slept good fer 5-6 hours, but after that it wuz rollin' & a tumblin' all nite long....without a nurse gymnast. I had put some big logs on my fire before I turned in hopin' the coals would light up eazy Monday morning. I lay there in the tent listenin' fer the birds....so I'd know when ta git up. No whippoorwill that nite, but I heard one the next nite. When I rolled out ta see the day, I got the fire roarin', pulled out my Zip Stove, ate a blueberry granola bar, an apple 'n made coffee....drip coffee with the $2 drip coffee maker frum Campmor.

I figgered the river would be full of boats on a warm, high water, sunny, Sunday afternoon, but empty like it wuz back in 2005 on Monday. Them 40 cars parked at the Ponca Bridge wuz likely Sunday day trippers headed fer Steel Creek 'er Kyles Landing. The March floods had changed the river quite a bit. Nature iz danged powerful. Man aint. I dont recall no problems Sunday, but on Monday there wuz one tree down cross the whole dang river....but there wuz near bout 6" of water over the top of the tree near the bank. The beer cooler crowd likely floated over it. I hit it, but made it over okay.

On Monday I paddled another very short stretch down ta Kyles Landing where I pulled off bout noon. There wuz anuther 15-20 cars in the parking lot....a surprize. They wuz day trippers runnin' frum Ponca ta Kyles on Monday. There wuz 2-3 tents near where the Paddling Geezers camped in 2005....when we had the whole danged campground to ourownselves. I met a volunteer Park Ranger (like Van). They give him room, board 'n $5 a day ta help the high dollar rangers take care of Kyles. He come 'n raked the sand next ta the fire grate. I reckon he never pitched a tent next ta a fire....on a windy night.

I am tired. I will bore ya'll some more later. On this expedishun the dookie dont hit the fan til Tuesday.

regards
bearridge

ps The Ontarians wuz there agin....at Ozark Campround....just like they wuz in April 2005 when the Paddlin' Geezers showed up there. This time there wuz 48 college kids 'n 4-5 young teachers. They wuz part of a Wilderness Program at Summit College. They had 17 tandem canoes, some made in London, Ontario. They wuz organized 'n while I figgered they wuz on the road ta Communism, I tole Tom that I hoped the wilderness program might save a few of 'em frum too much college. There wuz too many gals huggin' gals, Valley Girl talk 'n earrings in the wrong spots, but I like the kids. They warn't loud 'er disrespectul. It aint eazy herdin' college kids thru campgrounds 'n rivers....somethin' I helped with fer 10 years til Miz Ann tole Dave not ta bring no more of our college kids back. [I wuz always a "river chaperone" never a "campground chaperone".] The Ontarians been comin' there in April fer 12 years. After runnin' 100 miles of the Buffalo, climbin' rocks at Horseshoe somethin'-er-other 'n runnin' my favorite Ozark whitewater river, the Big Piney [I already posted Richard 'n Chester the Molester's video links...two with me in 'em], they drive back to Summit College.

Disclaimin': I apologize fer bein' too blown out ta proof read this long, ramblin' report.

 

[bearridge]

I jest pulled up the NPS map of the Buffalo River. It wuz 2.6 miles frum Ponca ta Steel Creek, but I fergot it wuz 8 miles ta Kyles Landing. However, it wuz still an eazy paddle down ta Kyles frum where I camped below Steel Creek. Sunday 'n Monday I paddled 10.6 miles under purty, warm, sunny skies on nice fast movin' water that come on the heels of some floods. The one in March wuz jest short of a 100 year flood. The river changed....even changed course 'n went round the back side of a gravel bar cuz a big tree fell cross the main channel. I seen one sideways tree stuck tween two straight trees makin' a goal post fer giants. I seen clothes, plastic 'n flotsam way up in the trees.

I wished I had been able to git together with Mister Hennessey that time 3-4 years ago when he had hiz hammock sale. I wuz ready ta spring fer one. I aim ta keep an eye peeled fer anuther chance. There iz a heap a fine spots along that river fer hammocks. The High Sheriff, Paddlin' Gator, oldyaker, Swampy 'n the others there back in 05 recall the hard times findin' good hammock trees in the Nationalized Park campgrounds. They had ta move out ta tick city jest ta hang 'em high. It turnt chilly Sunday night. I jest went ta sleep in the clothes I wore on the river, barefooted. Left the sleeping bag at home. When I got up ta bleed my rat, I had ta put on wool socks 'n sweat pants.

I give myself an A+ on food, water 'n coffee on this trip. I didnt overload my canoe. Ya caint "practice" canoe loadin', so there iz a heap a guesstimatin'....unless yer a 20 somethin' with a strong back 'n a heap a time on yer hands. I ate a first rate chili with beans MRE. It wuz so good I didnt even add Zatarains. I shifted down ta my low gears. I piddled more'n normal. I watched 'n listened ta the birds 'n squirrels. No gators, no skeeters, no bitin' flies.....never even seen Mister No Shoulders (didn't go outta my way lookin' fer 'em).

Frum my plastic armchair next ta my Communist aluminum table with a cup of coffee settin' on it, nice fire blazing, I gazed out at the foaming, rumblin' water. A family (Mom, Pop 'n two kids) in two canoes come by. They wuz mitey impressed. I wuz proud of myownself. I knew the river wuz droppin' and the upper stretch above Ponca Bridge haz a very small watershed, so I set up bout 20' frum the river.

Breakin' down a tent 'n packin' all yer gear aint ever been fun. A few days later az me'n Tom sipped some Dago Red we agreed that when a geezer camps 'n paddles, it oughta be "paddle one day, camp one day"....otherwise yer settin' up and breakin' it all down TWICE A DAY (cept fer the first 'n last days).

This trip wuz setup ta be a 50+ mile run frum Ponca ta Woolum 'er Tyler Bend, frum Monday ta Friday, but I tole Franke that I wuz pullin' out at Ozark Campground on Tuesday cuz I jest aint up fer a Vernon Krugler Bataan Death Paddle. That wuz the main reason I aimed ta put on by myownself at Ponca on Sunday, camp on the river 'n wait there on the bank til Franke 'n hiz pals showed up Monday. There wuz anuther reason....the forecast. Two days before I left home, the NOAA sez Sunday 'n Monday wuz gwine ta be swell, but that it mite come a hoodoochie Tuesday....after 7 a.m. Not only that, Miz Bear wuz home alone fer the first time since her stroke. Franke 'n hiz gang decided not ta gamble 'n aimed ta try agin later.

I packed my canoe 'n headed fer Kyles bout 9:00 a.m. I passed Hemmed in Hollow where the whirlpool dunked the Sparkanator, Chuck's Ledge where I blew out 25 years ago in April when I took my youngest daughter, my youngest brother 'n a pal down frum Steel Creek ta Kyles. I wuz waitin' fer Gray Rock Shoals, the most difficult water on the Buffalo River. You caint line round it 'n there aint no eazy line thru that big rock garden which haz a few shallow "slides" with big holes at the end.

I knew bout Chuck's ledge. Ya caint fergit where ya blow out with yer 8 year old daughter on a very cold April day. However, this time I let it slip up on me. It aint a dangerful run, but campin' gear takes most of the fun outta tricky water. I didnt want ta think how much of my gear mite git wet 'er lost. Ole hubris dont let me tie my gear ta the canoe. I got dry bags 'n put 'em under the lacing fer my air bags that I use paddlin' whitewater, but I don't tie nuthin' ta the boat.

Tree limbs wuz leanin' down, blockin' the narrow chute on river left where Dapper Al run the ledge in '05. I recalled the chute in the center where me'n oldyaker run it, I caint recall where anybody else run it that rainy day in 2005. I made it thru the middle agin just like before. I eddied out, grabbed my chair, table, sardines, pretzels 'n the bag a sauce packages all campers stuff in their pockets at the quick food cafes (plannin' ta take 'em on camping trips). I figger most of us got enuff soy sauce, Wendy's chili sauce 'n mayo ta camp frum now til 2013. Jest a few weeks back I separated mine inta jars. No more pinata seasonin'....grab bag. The lemon juice wuz tasty on sardines. Wearin' my Lo Mien hat, eatin' canned sushi with chop sticks, settin' in a chair by a table set up on a big flat rock out in the river wuz likely a sight ta see........give a little pardner a tale ta tell, but it wuz jest fer me, the river 'n the animals.

Gray Rock Shoals worried me a lot more. It wuz big water in April, 2005, but it wuz jest a bit bigger on Monday. I recalled Harry 'n Ray, wishin' I had made a point ta warn 'em how hard it iz ta make a canoe fulla water go where ya aim it.....'n how danged slow 'n careful ya gotta paddle. Like a kid in a dark attic who aint scairt of nuthin' when he iz with hiz pals, I wuz alone 'n worried. I made it okay, but it musta turnt one of the day trippers bottom upwards cuz I seen a badly pinned, empty canoe jest below the shoals. My heart skipped a beat cuz I didn't know when it happened 'er whether there wuz what used ta be a person pinned in there too. There wuz nobody in sight. Pleased ta tell ya'll that the paddlers musta made it ta shore 'n went home. This wuz bout 50 yards above Kyles. I figgered it wuz noon.

I pulled out 'n put up with a ratchet jawed "volunteer ranger" at the only site I liked....close ta the river, not too steep a climb 'n not too close ta the other two tents (set up over where we set up our tents in 2005). He even brung hiz rake down to smooth out the sand. He sez the flood really tore that site up bad. He raked me a spot right next ta the fire grate. I reckon he never pitched a tent right next ta a fire. There wuz 20 cars 'n trucks in the parkin' lot.....waitin' on the day trippers who likely put on at Steel Creek 'er Ponca Bridge round noon. There wuz a few campers, a fairly quiet Harley.....hard to believe. Later a long haired fella with the tent campers pulled out hiz bongo drums. He wuz listenin' ta the echo off the huge bluff cross the river. See my webshot album if ya wanna see some pichurs of 'em. Thiz bluff iz in the background in some of the first pichurs. We dont have but one 'er two river pichurs of the first two days cuz nobody had time fer pichur takin' when we wuz on the river.

I set up camp....real slow, then went round the campground gatherin' up all the store bought firewood the weekend crowd didnt burn. I walked up ta the pay hole 'n put $10 in a envelope 'n walked back ta the site.

Mister Bongo cranked it up agin. I set down at my table 'n talked with myself fer quite a spell. I figgered I'd give him til sunset. After that they mite feel like they fell asleep 'n woke up in Deliverance.....without the pig squealin' part. Then he quit. It wuz 3-4 pm. It wuz kinda interestin', but I am a heap better bongo drummer. I wuz in no mood ta give him any lessons. I wonder if hiz camping pals tole him ta set hiz bongo aside?

My site wuz up the bank bout 40' frum the river. I didnt pull in further down at the main takeout. I give myself anuther A+ fer that. There wuz no way ta paddle back upriver ta this site. I would have had ta camp next ta Mister Bongo 'er leave my canoe down on the river 40 yards away where I caint keep an eye on it 'n haul all my camping gear farther than I likely coulda done. It wuz hot 'n I wuz in no mood ta burn no calorie I didnt have ta burn. I took a long walk ta refill my water bottle. I ate good (clam chowder 'n Mexican corn) 'n figgered I had picked a purty level spot in a flood tore up campsite. It warnt that good, but it wuz better'n the first one. It wuz warm all nite. I set far frum the big campfire I made frum all that store bought firewood.

When I pulled off at Kyles, my knees 'n toes wuz hurtin' purty bad. I wuz stove up. I had ta git off the river fer a rest, but when I first got out, I stretched my legs, looked round at who wuz there 'n who mite be there later. I give serious thought ta gittin' back in the canoe 'n paddlin' on down ta Ozark cuz of the Tuesday morning hoodoochie. The $5 a day ranger sez the forecast still sez there wuz a hoodoochie comin'. I figgered Ozark wuz 10 miles downriver. It aint. It iz 11.1 miles 'n that makes a big difference when yer 3/4 wore out. I give myself anuther A+ fer throwin' that idea away.

Back in '05 half the geezers pulled out at Kyles. They wuz swell 'n let the rest of us put our gear on their trailer so we wuz feelin' 9 feet tall 'n able ta dodge bullets like Superman when we shoved off. We paddled frum Kyles ta Ozark. It wuz a bit long 'n slow toward the end az the river gits wide 'n the water slows down.....not az many bluffs either.

I aint finished, but I am takin' a break.

 

[bearridge]

I figger I made the right call stayin' at Kyles. I wuz too dang tired ta paddle all the way down ta Ozark. That woulda been 15-16 miles in one day....pullin' off late too. Settin' up camp late in the evenin' violates a few Paddlin' Geezer Canoe Clud bylaws. Geezers gotta get off the river by 3 p.m. so we kin set up camp 'n do our chores before cocktail hour....4 p.m. I finished the afternoon watchin' 30+ turkey buzzards floatin' on the thermals.....enjoyin' the sky 'n the sunset. They played with one anuther some, touchin' wings frum time ta time. Up close they looked like they had been whupped with a ugly stick, but 300-500' up in the clouds they wuz near bout dancin' with the stars....graceful az a nurse gymnast.

After the sun dropped down behind the bluffs I laid down ta git some shut eye 'n wuz doin' okay til this big wind blew thru. I worried if I had tied my canoe good enuff ta that root. [That iz anuther mistake I learnt the hard way.] I did NOT wanna be one of the few folk ta lose a canoe twice fer sloppy knot tyin'. I grabbed my flashlight, found some more rope 'n went down ta the river. I tied the canoe off with two ropes......made dang sho that knot wuz a good one.

Jest az I got back in the tent, laid back down 'n closed my eyes, the alarm (bird singin') went off. I figgered I would jest roll out, roll up, eat a granola bar, fergit my coffee, pack the canoe 'n shove off fast.....hopin' ta make it way downriver before 7 a.m. Az soon az it wuz lite enuff ta see how ta pack, I did. I likely shoved off round 7:30 a.m. I moved steady, but I wuz not rushin'. I didnt wanna make any bad moves bein' alone on a river with a canoe fulla gear in high water 'n a hoodoochie sneakin' up behind me.

The difference tween rapids on a dark, cloudy day 'n on a brite sunshiny day iz hard ta put in words. I seen it fer 25 years. There wuz a purty big rapid jest below the main takeout at Kyles. Rite off I seen a mistake. I did not load the canoe the same way 'n the trim wuz all wrong. The canoe kept turnin' on me, turnin' me round backwards, once at a bad time, but it wuz like layin' in bed, needin' ta pee 'n tryin' ta make yer mind overcome yer bladder. I put off repackin' my canoe, hopin' it would quit spinnin'. I wuz paddlin' a bit harder now cuz I begun ta worry how it mite go if a bad storm caught me. I wondered bout Dan......if I got caught 'n had ta git off the water til it blew over, how long would I have ta wait? Would it throw our schedule off? I told Dan I'd be at the takeout tween 1 p.m. 'n 3 p.m. Would Dan call fer the search 'n rescue folks if I didnt make it there on time? I had no idea how long this thunderstorm might last. I wuz wore out frum settin' up 'n breakin' camp 'n loadin' up 'n unloadin' all my gear in the canoe. Bein' wore out kept me frum pullin' over 'n repackin' my canoe. I hated the idea. Ever time I had ta fight with the canoe in the mostly wasted effort to stop it frum turnin' ass backwards, I wasted a heap of my git up 'n go. Things wuz not goin' well 'n my hubris wuz over two quarts low.

 

[bearridge]

I wuz paddlin' early Tuesday mornin' hopin' ta beat the Ozark thunderstorms down ta Ozark Campground. The sky wuz lighter ta the east, but dark ta the west behind me. Then I heard the first rollin' thunder behind me. I paddled harder. Ever now 'n then I stopped ta argue whether it made sense ta paddle hard, 'er whether an eazy, steady pace would do me better. Even if that made more sense, Windego wuz behind me gainin' ground.

I passed a few groups of canoe campers gettin' up, makin' coffee, eatin' breakfast, etc. We all waived. Time become hard ta measure. There wuz no sun 'n I wont wear a watch, but ya don't need a watch ta measure lightnin'. The first flash lit up the sky behind me like that time Gollum bit off Frodo's ring finger 'n the ring hit that melted lava inside Mount Doom. I counted six Mississippis. It had sprinkled on me on 'n off all mornin', but nuthin' heavy. Lo Mien aint bothered by sun 'er rain. He aint fond of a strong wind, but he no longer cares fer lightnin' while he iz paddlin'....at all.

I wondered bout Dan agin. Would he hear all the thunder, see all the lightnin', go ta plan B (we didnt have one), wait ta see when it stopped 'n then I kin finish my 11.1 mile paddle ta Ozark 'er what? I had no idea. I sure didnt wanna miss my ride, mainly cuz I wanted ta git back home Wednesday 'n I wuz gwine ta stop by Buzzard's Bluff come hell 'er high water. Bout that time both showed up. It begun ta rain. Not a hoodoochie, but steady. I wore a long sleeved, white, dress shirt that I used ta wear ta the office. I didnt have on no high tech river clothes ta stay warm 'n dry, but I wuz gittin' worried bout gittin' fried......so how cold the air 'n rain wuz warnt on my radar screen.

I know there iz a rule......"get off the water when the lightnin' comes". I argued hard with myself over whether ta pull off 'er keep paddlin'. My suspicious side kept demandin' ta know why pull off. What would I do....pull over 'n git out on the bank where I'd be up under all the tall trees? Then a big, jagged bolt come down frum the sky ta the east of me 'n the thunder crack come rite behind it. I caint tell ya'll what come out my mouth cuz some little pards mite be readin'. But then I tole God not ta take it personal....ya come out here 'n let's see what comes outta yer mouth!" Bout 5 minutes later it happened agin, I even got a chuckle when the same thing come outta my mouth on its own, but part of me wuz scairt I wuz bout ta become one with my canoe......my paddle....my Zip Stove.....even my plastic Zatarain Slop Jar.

The lightnin' didnt come fast. There wuz a flash, ear splittin' thunder, then 5 minutes of me, the rain 'n a canoe that kept turnin' round while it wuz fillin' up with rainwater. I finally pulled over up under one of them bluff ledges where I wuz mostly outta the rain 'n pulled up on some rocks just above some bad looking strainers. I give myself a upper cut 'n asked myself "why there....when there wuz places without strainers?" If I didn't get the trim right, I might end up in the strainers (one chance...no testing), then get hit by lightnin' so the tree roots kin become part of the plastic, human, wood, titanium 'n tin goop the search 'n rescue folks would find....after the river went down. Pulling my gear out 'n repackin' wuz az hard az I figgered. Bein' able ta paddle hard wuz a big question in my head. I still aint come ta Erbie (the halfway point).

I put more heavy gear in the front of the canoe, sponged out all the water 'n crawled in. I peeled out 3' above the strainers 'n spun round jest a foot past 'em. My spirits lifted, but my git up 'n go had got up 'n went. I found it sad that nobody would know what my last thoughts wuz......'er exactly where I got blackened. I imagined my gear spread all along the river....with all the rest of the trash frum the two recent floods. I figgered some of ya'll would be hard on me fer my reckless ways. Some would likely wag a e-finger cuz I didnt pull off the river, find a cave 'n crawl inside. Some kin do that......but not Lo Mien. Besides, no tellin' what iz in them caves. I kept wishin' I would come up with the "right" answer.....what do the Boy Scouts have ta allow? I wuz one, but all I recalled wuz "get off the water".

About that time I seen some lightnin' that looked like none I ever seen. There wuz 4-5 lines makin' somethin' that looked like one of them things school kids make with a loop of string....tween yer fingers? It wuz near bout over my head, but the thunder wuz 5-6 Mississippis away. In the end I jest sez "fornicate it", neither eloquent 'er original. I jest didnt see no better choice than ta keep paddlin' in the lightnin' cuz Dan mite have ta leave 'n go find river rescue help if I didnt show up on time. [Without the sun, I got no idea what time it iz.]

I rounded a bend 'n there wuz a car parked on the bank at Erbie. I wuz halfway ta the barn. I paddled over toward the car 'n it crossed my mind ta ask......what? I seen two folks inside. It looked way outta place. They did not look like folks who loved ta watch the outdoors.....on a gray, rainy day with serius lightnin' strikes everwhere. Erbie iz a long drive frum a paved road. I figgered they wuz married, but not ta each other. While I wuz ponderin', the river shoved me along 'n any thought of stoppin' at Erbie evaporated like canned milk......ta become somethin' ta agonize over later. Then the rain begun ta come down hard.

 

[Kayak Jack]

What a helluva a report! Life story, camping technique, and Odyssey all rolled into one. The Cyclops must be in the next installation?

Not going to waggle an efinger atchya, just wanna know if you prang and die - kinn I have your paddle?

(He will Keep the paddle if you just can hang on for a while , then the rest of the story will be posted , as Paul Harvey would say .... Stay tuned in for the rest of the story....Chuck. )

 

[a Bald Cypress]

h

Friend Bear,

This ain't no time ta be stopping your tale. Finish it afore ya forget just how heroic you were in the end.

 

[bearridge]

The rain come down harder. Great damn news that. Yep.....I wuz jest this side a plum wore out, wet, scairt (first time like that) 'n now pissed off. I had a bad attitude. I don't know how long that lightnin' lasted. I am sho it wuz only a small part of what it felt like. Seems like it begun jest below Camp Orr, the Boy Scout camp (that wuz where I heard the first thunder behind me) 'n let up a few miles below Erbie.....mebbe at that low water bridge where we all scraped bottoms back in 2005? lt woulda been horrible even if it had only lasted 10 minutes. I figgered I mite be real close ta a quick, sad end......a feelin' I never had before.....'n I felt that however it come out, nuthin' I done wuz gwine ta change it one bit.

It wuz the birds that tole me the lightnin' wuz gone. I begun ta notice 'em out on limbs up near the tree tops. I noticed I hadnt seen a bolt ('er heard any thunder) in 15 minutes 'er so. Then I seen the sky lighten a bit off ta the south.....a few white clouds showed up. This last stretch of river iz tiresome. It haz no awesome beauty, no bluffs. It iz wider 'n slower water. I wuz not happy. How quick I had become picky.....so soon after worryin' I wuz bout ta become a human corn dog! I slowed my pace. I sho wished my knees, back, calves, toes 'n shoulders would share in the joy of survivin' the toaster.

I come round a bend 'n seen two 8 year old twin boys in brite yellow 'n white rain coats lookin' fer precious stones amongst the rocks. Then I seen some of them metal poles ta hang yer lantern on next ta picnic tables up on the bank. I wuz at Ozark Campground........the same spot where we pulled out in 2005 ta meet up the other geezers. Chuck warmed my weary ole heart when he pulled out that jug of fine sippin' whiskey. We watched Ranger Bob take down the "Danger High Water--Experienced Floaters Only" sign 'n congratulated ourselves. What a trip....both of 'em!

This time I caint paddle anuther 100'. I pulled over ta the bank 'n got the "nice day on the river, huh?" frum one of the fellas lookin' out fer the twins. Instead a askin' what drove him insane, I jest tole him "yeah....cept fer the dang lightnin' bolts". One of 'em sez "yeah.....I heard some of that ta the west a while ago". [I reckon ya notice it more when it iz rite over yer head 'n ya aint a few miles away inside yer truck.] They wuz nice fellas, offered ta help me struggle with all my gear 'n the canoe. I coulda drug it up the bank, but it woulda been anuther Bataan ordeal (without the Japs with canes). The sun wuz out now tho some dark clouds wuz movin' by overhead. I asked 'em if they knew the time. One of 'em looks at hiz time teller 'n sez "2:30".....then he chuckled 'n sez "jest kiddin'....it iz 10:30".

I wondered if somehow Miz Bear knew bout the weather. Women do stuff like that. I tried ta call her first. After a long walk ta the ancient pay phone, the lady sez she caint help me with such a call....out of their "area"......had ta tell her my long distance carrier. I sez "10-10-987". She sez "no, I mean the name of the company". I had no idea. She sez she would read me the list of carriers. I sez "whatever".

The first one wuz AT&T, so I sez "okay" 'n she switched me over ta 'em. Anuther woman asked if the call wuz "collect, credit 'er callin' card". I tole her I had quarters....a whole damn roll of 'em. I come prepared fer that pay phone. I knew the cellularized phones dont work down in the Buffalo River bottom. [They dont work on top of them mountains either.] She sez "sir, we dont pick up money frum phones no more". I near bout tole her I wuz a geezer 'n that wuz news ta me, but I jest asked "how much fer collect?" She sez she will check. Then she sez she caint find no rates....somethin' bout the computin' machine bein' slow that mornin'.....sez she gotta look somewhere else......put me on "hold".

When she come back she sez she jest caint find no rates. Sometimes I dont handle stuff like that well.....sometimes I whack off my own nose. Instead of lettin' AT&T give me a blind rate screwin', I jest sez "fergit it". I hung up. I dont figger she reached fer her bandana ta wipe off a tear drop. Heck, I would be talkin' ta Dan soon. He'd be in my truck. One of our cell phones mite work.....'er we'd be outta the river bottom soon....mebbe borrow Harold's land phone at the motel in Jasper? I mite be eatin' a greazy burger fer lunch. I'd jest count on Miz Bear not knowin' exactly what I had jest paddled thru.

If ya'll bear with me jest a bit longer, I swear I will make it ta the end. This woulda been a good spot fer it. I could jest tell how I sent Peach Eye off ta find Dan, who like Woodrow Coll, would come a runnin'.......but that jest aint the way our day went.

( If you would please .....Hold off on the replies for a minute or two ..Bear has more to tell...Chuck)

How bout a day 'er two? I aim ta go see my Momma after lunch....but I dont mind if ya'll gotta post, long az ya dont hijack it 'n start tellin' what all ya'll kin do with yer Coleman stoves 'n how much ya'll love 'em. :wink: bearridge

 

[bearridge]

After I tole AT&T off, I tried ta call Dan. I figgered he wuz on the highroad ta the courthouse in Jasper ta file some papers 'n had hiz cellularized phone on hiz hip. He sez he wuz gwine ta save me some shuttle dollars by drivin' over ta Ponca, leavin' hiz car, gittin' my truck, drivin' ta the courthouse, then ta the take out where he'd help me load my canoe 'n gear.....then back ta Ponca fer his car. Simple, huh? The plan wuz that I'd call him when I got off the river Tuesday. I tole him I'd be at the take out 1-3 p.m. He sez he aimed ta wet some flies in the river whilst he waited on me.

I tried the pay phone agin. The call went thru ta Dan's phone, I begun ta tell him I wuz at Ozark, but the operator started yakin' when hiz machine began ta tell how he aint there now. She tole me ta put a heap a quarters down the hole. I done it, but by that time the machine had quit talkin' 'n the operator wuz gone. I called her agin. I tole her what happened. She sez she wuz mitey sorry.......sez she'd stay on the line til I begun ta talk ta Dan's machine. I tole that machine I wuz there 'n it wuz bout 10:30. I wuz feelin' good 'n figgered ta see my pickup comin' round the mountain soon az Dan left the courthouse. I jest knew that wuz where he wuz cuz hiz machine wuz doin' the talkin'. I figgered the judge dont like it if yer phone rings in the courthouse. Some of ya'll likely figgered out that hiz phone likely dont work no better'n any cellularized phones down in the Buffalo River bottom.....'er even on top of most of the mountains round there.

I hiked back ta my gear 'n found some fresh clothes. Hiked part way back ta the outhouse when it dawned on me my teeth kin use some paste. [See....that jest showed how that lightnin' changed up my thinkin'.....made it crooked....ya dont need a outhouse ta brush yer teeth....even a fancy one with sinks, paper towels 'n mirrors.] So I wasted more calories ta go back fer my toothbrush. Dry clothes feel a heap better'n wet ones.

I hiked back ta sit with my gear when the Summit College Ontario students showed up. I didnt recognize any of 'em frum 2005, but a heap of 'em wuz there with us at Ozark. One fella tole me they come in April ever year....part of a class where they learn them college kids bout the outdoors. I liked spyin' on 'em....checkin' out their gear....stealin' any good ideas. They come down in 17 canoes 'n a few kayaks. They had bout 17 of them big, blue barrels fulla food 'n stuff. They had dry bags 'n them big Plano tool boxes they fixed up fer river travel.

When time come fer vittles they set some big tandem canoes (one a Nova Craft made in London, Ontario) on two of the barrels 'n made tables ta feed 48 college kids. The kids wuz purty quiet 'n respectful. There wuz a lot of gal huggin', by other gals, but there wuz reglar huggin' too. I visited with one of the teachers fer a spell. It made the time pass eazy. I wondered if Dan wuz doin' any good with hiz fly rod. I didnt worry me when he didnt show up by noon. He mite be eatin' lunch hizownself 'er casting flies....not thinkin' ta check hiz messages cuz I tole him 1-3 p.m. After lunch the Ontarians broke up with the gals over by the outhouse 'n the fellas in the big field....settin' in a circle. They had some quiet talk fer nearly a hour. I seen that the fellas had their heads bowed some. The gals done some singin'. Az long az they warnt Scientology folks I didnt care what they believed.

They didn't invite me to join either group 'n I went back ta wonderin' bout Dan, so I hiked back to the phone.....part way til I recalled the quarters back with my gear. More calories went up in smoke. I begun ta worry Dan fergot the day he wuz ta pick me up, so I called Buffalo Outdoor Center in Ponca where I left my truck. [They had a toll free number, which I knew before the lightnin'......so I didnt even need them quarters.] I asked the gal who answered if Dan had made it 'n picked up my truck. Yep....she seen it goin' down the highroad toward Jasper. I asked when. She sez "bout a hour 'n a half ago". Dang....it dont take more'n 20 minutes...eazy. This worried me, what if Dan had a wreck? Mebbe he jest didnt care fer the fishin' at Ozark Campground. Maybe he liked ta fish off that gravel bar downriver at Pruitt that he tole me bout......jest down the river, next ta the highroad? I tole him 1-3 p.m., so no reason fer me ta complain if he dont check hiz messages til then. [I dont even know how ta check mine.]

( More to come , hold off on the replies if you would ...Please. This way it will be all together....Chuck)

 

[bearridge]

It had been a long, strange trip, without near bout enuff shut eye. Tuesday had been a long, hard, 3 hour, 11.1 mile paddle in the worst lightnin' I ever set outside in. Altho I had some good help haulin' my gear 'n canoe up ta the road, I wuz runnin' on fumes....calorie fumes. Jest then somethin' grabbed my eye down on the river. Some geezers pulled in, got out a Coleman stove, a pot 'n then poured some water in it. A few minutes later more geezers joined 'em. Some of 'em come up the path 'n we spoke. They asked if I wuz a Ontarian. I tole 'em nope. They asked where the water wuz. I showed 'em 'n they set off on the hike ta fill their water jugs.

I am gettin' ancy now. I caint figger out why Dan aint checked hiz messages 'n come fer me. Suddenly a crazy thought crossed my feeble mind like when ya mess up with the jumper cables 'n git a arc. What if he wuz down at Pruitt, a mile downriver by the Highway 7 bridge? We talked bout it in our emails. Did I agree ta pull out down there? Did Dan git it wrong? Did I? Okay....so Dan screwed up....but why dont he check hiz messages, find out I pulled off at 10:30 'n since I aint down there, I gotta be up here, rite? I tole him I'd call when I got off the river. Why dont he jest drive over here.....ta check out Ozark....jest ta see if I pulled out here? Then I recalled the long, steep, bad road frum the highroad ta Ozark.

I hiked back ta the phone agin.....fast. Me'n that dang antique pay phone dont git along too good, so I called the folks with the toll free number in Ponca........tole 'em me 'n Dan aint on the same page. I asked 'em ta call down ta the ranger station at Pruitt 'n ask that ranger (a pal of Dan's) ta go down ta the gravel bar 'n tell him ta come ta Ozark. Well......I tole that ta their message machine....nobody wuz home in Ponca.

I went back ta arguin' with myself agin over whether I fergot 'er Dan fergot. Dan knows both spots. Suddenly, it all made sense (cept why he aint checked hiz messages). Dan iz downriver at Pruitt. He iz likely at the takeout....the gravel bar. The geezers come back frum filling their water jugs. I asked 'em if they wuz headin' downriver. They sez "yep". I asked 'em what time it wuz. They sez "2:45 p.m." I tole 'em what had happened (without callin' it my fault). I asked 'em if they'd stop 'n tell Dan ta come git me at Ozark. At first they sez "sho", but then one of 'em sez they aint gwine that far downriver. Dang....it was only a mile. Least that wuz what I recalled.

I made up my mind like a Cooper Hawk snatchin' up a field mouse. I went over ta the Ontarian teachers, tole 'em there wuz a misunderstandin'....Dan wuz down at Pruitt. I tole 'em the way my day had gone, 10 minutes after I shoved off fer Pruitt, Dan would come drivin' inta the campground. I tole 'em what my pickup looked like 'n asked 'em ta tell Dan ta load my gear 'n drive back down ta Pruitt. I grabbed my paddle 'n a lifesaver. I asked some of the Ontarians ta give me a hand. Four of 'em jumped up. They wuz gwine ta tote all my gear back down ta my canoe, but I tole 'em jest leave it be. I aimed ta paddle like Wiley Coyote chasin' that Roadrunner fer the mile downriver ta the bridge, find Dan, load the canoe 'n drive back up ta Ozark. What a simple plan....a bold solution.....danged fine thinkin'.....even after the lightnin'.

I shoved off 'n paddled harder'n any time that day. I made purty big waves cuz the canoe wuz empty. However, that mile sprint seemed ta take a mitey long time. The map later tole me why. It wuz 2.1 miles down ta Pruitt. A bit long fer a wore out geezer late afternoon sprint. This wuz painful, but not a simple matter of jest paddlin' 2.1 miles. I never been ta Pruitt 'er the gravel bar Dan tole me ta look fer jest down frum the ranger station. I figgered the ranger station wuz jest below the bridge, on river left, jest up the hill frum the gravel bar where the outfitters 'n paddlers take out.

I wuz mitey glad ta see the Scenic Highway 7 bridge. I heard the traffic fer 20 minutes before I got there. Frum the corner of my eye, I seen a roof top on a buildin' on river right that jumped out at me az a guviment roof top. It had skylights 'n a wasteful look. I panicked. Wuz that the ranger station? Now I dont know left frum right? I seen some gravel 'n sand bars, but they looked like a horrible spot ta pull off the river 'n tote boats 'n gear up the bank to whatever might be up there thru the cane, brambles, shrubs 'n trees. Az with the red, mystery car at Erbie, I froze 'n the river took over. I wuz past the bridge quicker'n Pinocchio kin pluck a booger.

The water wuz movin' purty fast inta a bend jest below the bridge. If I had jest missed the takeout, there wuz no paddlin' back up stream....even if I had any calories left. The current wuz too fast 'n tryin' ta pull a canoe back along the rocky bank iz jest beggin' fer a broke ankle. I come round the bend 'n seen......nuthin'....no gravel bar. I yelled at myself that I oughta jest pull over now 'n ta cut down on the march thru the ticks 'n sticker bushes....on a mountain where I dont know which way ta go. Fer a few seconds I jest stopped paddlin', reflectin' on the day....on the whole trip. How fittin' ta end it by stoppin' at the wrong takeout, paddlin' downriver ta find Dan, then missin' him on the river 'n goin' downriver where I never been 'n dont know the lay of the land.

This iz freakin' great. I break camp at the crack of dawn, paddle like Vernon Krugler, hurt all over, git rained on, paddle thru an hour of bad lightnin', fergit the takeout, figure out my mistakes, set off ta fix 'em, screw up, miss Pruitt Landing 'n go downriver where there aint no roads, towns, homes....no signs of civilization. That iz what a nationalized scenic river iz all about....removin' the signs of civilization cept at the guviment campgrounds. I mite be on the river after dark....'er pull off 'n what? The next guviment campground wuz 8-10 miles downriver.

Suddenly, I seen a post with somethin' yellow on it. Civilization....yippee. I seen a big gravel bar. Way back up in the woods I seen somethin' tan. Then I seen it wuz a Toyota pickup. I seen the Pruitt sign on the bank. I struggled ta the first spot where I seen a road come purty close ta the river....on the sand 'n gravel....fresh graded (like in a heap a the campgrounds...cleanin' up after the floods).

It took me a while ta git up off my knees. It took a while til I made my legs move. I walked slowly 'n painfully toward the truck. I yelled out "Dan!" He seen me 'n drove part way down ta the river. He stopped, got out 'n waved at me ta paddle round the last bend.....come on down ta where he wuz. I tole him "no sir, I caint paddle no more...forever". I waved fer him ta come ta me. I really dont figger I coulda paddled that 30 yards round the bend ta him.

Dan drove over, got out 'n I sez "been one helluva day". He sez "yer telling me". I wuz too wore out when he tried ta splain hiz cell phone, but he wuz jest listenin' ta my first message....the one where the yakerator cut me off. I dont figger he even bothered ta fish, so I caint imagine how borin' it wuz fer him waitin' fer me at the takeout point. I jest fergot where it wuz. I wuz near bout fried. I wuz wore out. The sun wuz in my eyes coach.

Dan wuz not bored the whole time. The roadgraderman left a big pile of sand in the road 'n for some reason that went over my head at the time, Dan drove inta it 'n got my truck stuck. I aint complainin'. Dan wuz there. Dan volunteered. The whole day wuz hard on both of us. We set on the Buffalo River 2.1 miles apart fer hours. At least I had the Ontarians, a $5 a day volunteer ranger, two men with 8 year old twins in yellow jackets 'n a pay phone that wont let me call Miz Bear.

We loaded my canoe. Dan figgered I wuz travelin' a bit light. I tole him my gear wuz back at Ozark. I bet he loved ta hear that news. It iz a lot longer drive than the 2.1 river miles. The road iz steep, long, windin', rutted, with gravel, stones, big rocks, gullies 'n bumps. The Ontarians smiled at us az we drove in with my canoe. It took us 60 seconds ta throw my gear in the back and start the long drive back up the steep road ta the Number 7 Scenic Highroad.

When I git a moment, I aim ta take some of Dan's version 'n add it below. He wuz danged nice. Never asked me how come I fergot Pruitt. :mrgreen:


( If you would please .....Hold off on the replies for a minute or two ..Bear has more to tell on this condensed version.....Chuck)

 

[bearridge]

Here iz where I lie....I mean, "tell" Dano's side of this....'er let him do it. To be edited later.....

 

[oldsparkey]

Here iz where I lie....I mean, "tell" Dano's side of this....'er let him do it. To be edited later.....

I'm not sure if Dano will object to this but since it was one of the e-mails and in defense of Dano I will take the liberty of posting it in it's entirety so the story ends and remakes can be published. No reason to edit it , To good to do that , besides I like seeing the inside of a good story. Especially from an unbiased and helpful person.

************************************************************

I actually left my office about 10:30 Tuesday morning, made the quick drive to Jasper, filed the papers in the Courthouse, then made the quick trip on 74 to Ponca.
Met with Jennifer, but not the one I had talked to the day before to make sure Bill in fact had his truck parked at Buffalo Outdoor Center (I need to talk to Mike Mills to see if he can have his office girls go by Jennifer 1 and Jennifer 2) Jennifer is pretty common in Newton County..and more than likely they are also related.
Got the truck started and headed to PRUITT landing.

You see I have the backup emails between me and Bill stating WHERE the takeout would be, even the fact that the landing is about 1/4 or so down river from the Highway 7 bridge and the Ranger Station....

I got to Pruitt at 12:30 thinking because of the rain he would want to get off a bit early. (I never saw the lightning). No one was in the campground except a park service grader operator and believe this or not...that obscure red car Bill had seen at Kyles, I kid you not.
There is a gravel and sand road that runs along the landing and when I drove on it to see if Bill was already there, the grader operator had left a big pile of gravel, dirt and muck in the middle of this incline that gets you back on the chat and to the parking area.

Oh, well, I'll just back up a bit and just then just reverse my way back up where you enter the road. Not to be. When you get off of the gravel it becomes all sand, so I bury the ass end of the Toyota. I told myself, no problem, I will just kick it in to 4wd....yeah right, what does a Mississippian need with 4wd... I used some profanity then walked up to where the grader operator was eating lunch and he knew right off what I had done.

He apologized and even offered me some of his lunch."I happened to know him, a Vietnam Vet who wanted to ask me some questions ? I always run into folks who know the biz I am in wants to talk shop with me.

He cleaned up the road and brought the grader down to the truck and we hooked a tow chain to a very obscure portion of the frame Bill. It came right out.
I went back to the parking lot. An hour or so later I got to thinking that maybe I should go back to the Ranger Station to see perhaps he had taken out there. I hoped not. Its about a 45 degree incline there and getting even a light boat up would be a bitch.

In the parking lot there was several Mennonites in long dresses and the men in black hats, stowing gear in trucks and it appeared one of the outfitters had provided them with a nice day on the water. I would like to have been at their picnic lunch. No Bill. Ok back to the gravel landing just in case he was already passed the bridge and I missed him...this scenario was repeated a couple of times.

Back to the parking lot and time was passing it was about 2:30. I knew my phone worked where I was in that my son called and I even called my daughter to check out the signal. I had decided that I would wait until 3:30 pm before I really panicked and I would call my friends at the Newton County Sheriff's Office to see if they had radio contact with rangers at Ozark and Erbie to see if he might be there. I even contemplated just telling them to contact the Park Service search and rescue.

If he was at Ozark it would take a good 20 minutes or better to make the trip and I might miss him at Pruitt. I finally decided 4pm would be the deadline, and even wondered if Jim's number was somewhere in the truck so I could call him instead of Karen to report my concerns and whether his number was listed in the Cleveland phone book. Lots of things go through your mind in these situations.
At some point after 3pm, I noticed I had two voice mails on the cell phone, which had not been there earlier...I dialed the voicemail number and I be damned I could hear Bill talking to the ATT operator but in broken sentences..something about Ozark....11am....crack, pop, crackle.......then I see Bill in his yellow rain jacket and hear him call Dan.

Bill was 30 minutes from being the front page news article in the Newton County Times....
**************************************************************

Chuck.

 

[hairymick]

Bear, my friend,

Epic Post! 8)

That was a thoroughly good read mate. I loved every word of it. Thank you for shareing. I can't wait for part two.

 

[oldsparkey]

Bear, my friend,

Epic Post! 8)

That was a thoroughly good read mate. I loved every word of it. Thank you for shareing. I can't wait for part two.

Mick ..... Don't encourage him ...... I have not told him that John Depa posted 30 reports on his trip in the Canadian wilds ...... Actually John sent them to me and I posted them for him :roll: but John made the trip. All I did was to post the trip for him.

Chuck.
PS. I asked Bear to post his trip after reading the e-mails about it , to good of a read to not enjoy and to be shared so everyone could enjoy it. All of us like a trip , even if we did not go on it we still get to share in the fun , heartache , misery and problems. Plus with some luck , learn from them.

 

[Ozark]

BR Bear I anxiously awaited each instalment of your adventure to the Buffalo. Glad it was as exciting for you as it was for us to read.
Paul

 

[bearridge]

Fellas,

I am waitin' on Mike ta give me some polite golf claps (the sound, not a diseaze), but I thank ya fer them kind words. Nobody but a dang fool posts stuff like that cept fer one reason....well two. I wanted ta tell ya'll bout the good times, but remind ya of the hard times that come when ya make little mistakes. Some mistakes that seem small, have a big impact.

I learnt ta cut all my fingernails short before headin' out frum Kayak Jack. I learnt bout boxed wine frum oldyaker, Paddlin' Gator 'n Danger Mouse. I learnt how far away frum other folks ya need ta pitch yer tent frum Ole Sparkey. I learnt a heap a stuff frum near bout all of ya'll. This wuz payback. I aimed ta tell ya'll bout this trip so ya'll know what ta do on a mountain river if the lightnin' catches ya, why ya need ta make dang sho ya dont fergit the take out, ta trim the boat rite, ta pitch yer tent on level ground, dont trust cellularized phones, carry a phone card, etc.

My mind aint near bout az weak az it sounds. When ya miss too much shut eye 'n start burnin' up body fat, ya gotta work extra hard so yer mind dont make bad choices. I figger that wrecked more expedishuns than anythin' else.....includin' Windego. The lightnin' question wuz the big one. The NOAA aint sho what ta do. They changed their advice three times over the last 10 years. Where I wuz, I figger I made the best call.

Until that first lightnin' crack, this wuz a fine trip. While I wuz wore out, it likely done me good. I am still a bit sore, but the heart doc tole me ta lose 15 pounds a few weeks back. This stress test didnt cost near bout az much az hiz.

If there iz a river az purty az the Buffalo, I aint seen it. If ya know one, invite me ta join ya on it.

regards
bearridge

Well, there ya are Augustus. I guess that’ll teach me ta be more careful what I promise in the future. Woodrow Coll

 

[oldsparkey]

That is one trip ya can't blame me for the rain , high water or fast rapids , not even getting into or discussing the disgusting snoring which I am accused of doing now and then. Speaking of that................

What do you think keeps my hammock rocking , it ain't the wind , No Sir , Not the wind at all. Anyway the one Mother Nature gives us , snore power might be a bit stronger and lasts a lot longer , just rocks ya back and forth (inhale ....Exhale) all night long. Also is darn good for making campers camp a ways from you.
Takes a lot of pratice to really get good at it , I'm still working at it every night , according to the wife who has her own bedroom. :roll: :lol:

Chuck.

 

[Kayak Jack]

Well, I'm glad the Cheerios Kid could finally save the maiden is distress. Helluva deal!

Here's a trick I haven't tried personally, but an acquaintance of mine says it works. If tenting on a slope, sleep SIDEWAYS to it with, say, your left side up hill. Then pack clothing or something similar under your downhill side so you are cradled. This way you sleep level and comfortable.

I have no advice on lightning that you don't already know. I do have a lightning detector, but you were so busy that it would not have been much use to you, I think. I'm glad you were not struck by lightning. You woulda outshone even Randall McMurphy. And, the Injun would've been no help atall.

Sounds to me, Br'r Bear, as though you sought some psychological-type soul reorganising and the trip worked it for you. Good on ya, mate.

 

[dangermouse01]

I am waitin' on Mike ta give me some polite golf claps (the sound, not a diseaze), but I thank ya fer them kind words.

Bearridge,
Big golf claps all around!!! Was gone camping for a long weekend and didn't get to read your story till just now. :shock: Glad your story had a happy ending.

DM
mike

 

[bearridge]

Fellas,

I put this here so I wont fergit....like Pruitt Landing. :wink:

Ponca Bridge NPS gauge http://www.buffaloriverandrain.com/

************

4/10/05 3 pm Geezers show up 2.73' 316 cfs
4/10/05 11 pm Chuck brings a Hoodoochie 2.82' 360 cfs

4/11/05 10 am breakfast Low Gap General Store 2.91' 404 cfs
4/11/05 12 noon Geezers shove off 3.26' 619 cfs
4/11/05 3 pm Geezers stop 3.49' 795 cfs

4/12/05 9 am Geezers near bout ready ta paddle 3.44' 751 cfs
4/12/05 3 pm time ta stop 3.32' 663 cfs

4/13/05 10 am shove off 3.08' 492 cfs

************

4/6/08 3 pm shove off 3.28' 634 cfs

4/7/08 9 am 3.34' 678 cfs

4/8/08 all day 2.96' 428 cfs

************

River wuz purty much at the same level both trips.....following big rains. However, on both April 8, 2008 'n on April 13, 2005, the rangers had put up the "Danger Experienced Floaters" sign at Ozark Campground. That dont make no sense cuz the NPS recommended level sez that sign means the Ponca guage iz over 5'. With two more feet of water, I figger most of the rapids wash out. Chuck's Ledge would be kinda scairy, but runnable anywhere ya like. :mrgreen: Gray Rock Shoals would either be washed out 'er feel like the Colorado River.....Lava Falls or Sockdollager? :roll:

The NPS recommended levels come frum the ACC, which iz mainly a whitewater club. The way I see it, fer paddlers with a canoe fulla campin' gear, these levels in '05 'n '08 (Ponca gauge) iz high enuff. Any higher 'n all the fun will be gone, even fer a fella who likes a solid Class II ever now 'n then....even on a campin' trip. But the sign on the river bank that the rangers put up jest dont match up with the recommended level on the NPS site. [see link above]

The most difficult rapids on the Upper Buffalo iz Chuck's ledge (which kin be lined) 'n Gray Rock Shoals (which caint be lined), come jest above Kyles Landing, but there are a heap a rapids that kin spill a loaded boat (if ya aint careful) frum Steel Creek down ta Erbie. There iz a few more jest below Erbie before the river flattens out.

Fer canoe campers I think the best plan iz ta put on at Ponca 2-4 pm 'n paddle slow 'n easy fer an hour. [Most of the other paddlers will be ahead of ya.] Camp jest above 'er jest below Steel Creek. Dont tote much water. Refill at Steel Creek, Kyles 'er Erbie. Spend Monday at the first camp.....so folks who had ta drive Sunday kin rest up.

Tuesday paddle down 'n make camp above Chuck's Ledge 'er below Kyles. If feelin' spry, break camp Wednesday 'n piddle down close ta Erbie. If not, stay in camp til Thursday. Friday ya kin make it ta Pruitt in the mornin' 'n head fer home 'er stop 'n camp somewhere near Ozark 'n head out early Saturday mornin'.

That iz one geezer plan. If ya like, ya kin make 10 miles a day without paddlin' too hard if the water aint low. All plans got trade offs...crowds, air temp, water levels, calorie burn, etc.

regards
bearridge

ps The Buffalo haz anuther 75 miles which haz purty bluffs 'n water. The last 25 miles dont even have no guviment campgrounds.

 

[Ozark]

I sure want to make that run this year. I'll save this as a trip itinerary thanks BR Bear.