A merchant ship went down at sea leaving only four men in a three man life boat. There was the captian of the dead ship, a Southerner, a Notherner and a Westerner. As the life boat was in danger of sinking the capitian said one of us has got to go overboard so the others can live. Now I must stay on this boat if any one is to have a chance to live, since I'm the only one who knows how to navigate by the stars. So I'm going to ask you questions and the first one to answer incorrcetly goes overboard. He then asked: Tex what was the worst civilian naval distaster in history? Tex replied the sinking of the Titanic. Correct. Reb how many people were on that boat? Reb said 1217. Correct, Yankee name them.
sinking life boat
- Thread starter Lurker
- Start date
Net manners
Lurker:
While it is permissible to assail former Marines and deputies (especially gritz eaters); it is unforgiveable to make any disparaging comments about Yankees unless you are referring to a certain baseball team. :!:
Lurker:
While it is permissible to assail former Marines and deputies (especially gritz eaters); it is unforgiveable to make any disparaging comments about Yankees unless you are referring to a certain baseball team. :!:
Old Yaker,
I tried em once, but, EATING GRITS can be hazardous to your sanity; it can cause you to see into other dimensions or to have visions or hallucinations or whatever.
As I was driving west on Interstate 10, just west of Phoenix, Arizona, I saw a "Run-A-Muck" (a motor home with an elderly driver), with Florida license plates pull into a rest area. I followed them into the rest area and asked if they were a freind of Chuck's, they said, why yes they were and remembered well meeting him on a Florida highway a couple of years back. Now I have lived amongst GRIT eaters since 1978 and have been married to one for 42 years (a Virginia girl), so I figured it would finally be OK for me to eat some GRITS. Chucks freinds were just getting ready to eat and they invited me to breakfast with them. Them GRITS just plopped on my plate a looking all gooey and white. I took a bite...hardly any tase at all...whats the big deal? I did not want to offend Chucks good freinds so I had eaten about half of them GRITS when I happened to glance out the window and this is what I saw:
A turkey buzzard flew down to the base of a saguaro catus and using his beak began pulling the needles out of the catus, he then flew all up and down it removing all the needles. While this was going on a jack-rabbit began chewing through the bottom of the catus, and at the same time a coyote was pushing against it with all his strength in an effort to knock it over. When it fell to the ground the jack-rabbit and the coyote jumped on it and began digging out the center of the catus, and before I could swallow my GRITS they had hollowed out the thing and made a dug out canoe! Now the turkey buzzard flew in with two paddles (I have no idea where he got them), and the last I saw of them, they were paddling west over the sand, up the mountainside, into the sunset.
Never before or since have I witnessed such cooperation among desert wild life!
Does this happen to all newbe GRIT eaters or did Chuck's freinds spike my GRITS? :wink:
I tried em once, but, EATING GRITS can be hazardous to your sanity; it can cause you to see into other dimensions or to have visions or hallucinations or whatever.
As I was driving west on Interstate 10, just west of Phoenix, Arizona, I saw a "Run-A-Muck" (a motor home with an elderly driver), with Florida license plates pull into a rest area. I followed them into the rest area and asked if they were a freind of Chuck's, they said, why yes they were and remembered well meeting him on a Florida highway a couple of years back. Now I have lived amongst GRIT eaters since 1978 and have been married to one for 42 years (a Virginia girl), so I figured it would finally be OK for me to eat some GRITS. Chucks freinds were just getting ready to eat and they invited me to breakfast with them. Them GRITS just plopped on my plate a looking all gooey and white. I took a bite...hardly any tase at all...whats the big deal? I did not want to offend Chucks good freinds so I had eaten about half of them GRITS when I happened to glance out the window and this is what I saw:
A turkey buzzard flew down to the base of a saguaro catus and using his beak began pulling the needles out of the catus, he then flew all up and down it removing all the needles. While this was going on a jack-rabbit began chewing through the bottom of the catus, and at the same time a coyote was pushing against it with all his strength in an effort to knock it over. When it fell to the ground the jack-rabbit and the coyote jumped on it and began digging out the center of the catus, and before I could swallow my GRITS they had hollowed out the thing and made a dug out canoe! Now the turkey buzzard flew in with two paddles (I have no idea where he got them), and the last I saw of them, they were paddling west over the sand, up the mountainside, into the sunset.
Never before or since have I witnessed such cooperation among desert wild life!
Does this happen to all newbe GRIT eaters or did Chuck's freinds spike my GRITS? :wink:
Oh Oh!
Lurker, You need to call the poison control center right now! :shock:
Than you need to get Jack to administer some single malt as an antidote.
Those folks may have been real nice and friendly but friends don't make friends eat grits!
You didn't remember mamas 1st rule, never go with strangers. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Lurker, You need to call the poison control center right now! :shock:
Than you need to get Jack to administer some single malt as an antidote.
Those folks may have been real nice and friendly but friends don't make friends eat grits!
You didn't remember mamas 1st rule, never go with strangers. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Re: Oh Oh!
"Abandon all hope - ye who enter here - we serve gritz!"
I like it - that sez it all.oldyaker said:
"Abandon all hope - ye who enter here - we serve gritz!"
Let me give some advice to you wannabe grits eaters: PUT SOME BUTTER AND SALT ON THEM!!!! Or if you want to nauseate us put some sugar on them and pretend they are cream of wheat or some other garsh-awful creation.
By the way, you didn't add mushrooms from some Florida cow pastures to those grits did you?
By the way, you didn't add mushrooms from some Florida cow pastures to those grits did you?
HMMMMMM.
Ya know Pirouge, looking at that video, I just can't help wondering if that's not what our Buddies are doing on their float/camping trip?
I also heard that a steady diet of grits will cause certain body organs to shrink and that for every teaspoon of grits you loose one brain cell that can't ever be replaced! :wink:
Ya know Pirouge, looking at that video, I just can't help wondering if that's not what our Buddies are doing on their float/camping trip?
I also heard that a steady diet of grits will cause certain body organs to shrink and that for every teaspoon of grits you loose one brain cell that can't ever be replaced! :wink: