Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs | SouthernPaddler.com

Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,479
123
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
This was sent to me and I got a tickle out of it ..... I do not support stupidity and have never spent a penny for helping these nonintellectual folks out ...But I do like the response to #14....That one is good............ soooooooooooooo
Here is something to think about and your hard earned money is supporting it. I could not think of a better area for it then the Joke area because to me it is just that.

After you read it think about this. WHY.

Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs: :roll:

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan'
all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to
copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
season:  "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own
mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win,
I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins:  "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody
in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going
to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,
and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter
Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to
spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the
morning regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's
expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
aunt."  (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,
'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,
I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
spending too much time on one subject."

14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob
Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."

I just hope and pray that none of them would ever try to make a wood boat, they are way past any form of help.
They could just purchase the company to have one boat. Now teaching them to paddle it would really be a trick. Any volunteers :?:

Chuck.
 

pancho

Well-Known Member
Nov 29, 2003
49
0
Idaho falls Idaho
I always hated phys-ed teachers when I was in school. Never had ONE with more than room temperature IQ. But I think they did enjoy The Sports illustrated swimsuit issue at least they could read the pictures :?
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
oldsparkey said:
"I told him,'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"


Friend Swampy,

ROFL. This one gits a star. Rite up there with sex with parrott jokes.

regards,

bearridge