I'm a man, but I can change, If I have to, I guess.......... Red Green
Subject: Men and their Tools!
Let's face it, Men love tools! Of course we don't always know how to use 'em. In case you're not up on all the terminology, We've covered some of the basics!
- Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
- Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a Professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.
- Phillips Screwdriver - The drink that you order when the
damage estimate is over $1,000. (Contains twice the vodka.)
- Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
- Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in it's leather sheath and worn on a home owner's belt to increase testosterone levels.
- Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off
when you point it at yourself.
- Halogen Light - A work light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
- Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution
90% over a standard plug-in tool.
- Air Compressor - A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing the power of your mother-in-law's nagging complaints and using the resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house.
- Chainsaw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.
- Cordless Telephone - The handyman's 911.
Remember, If the women don't find you Handsome, They should at least find you Handy!!
Subject: Men and their Tools!
Let's face it, Men love tools! Of course we don't always know how to use 'em. In case you're not up on all the terminology, We've covered some of the basics!
- Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
- Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a Professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.
- Phillips Screwdriver - The drink that you order when the
damage estimate is over $1,000. (Contains twice the vodka.)
- Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
- Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in it's leather sheath and worn on a home owner's belt to increase testosterone levels.
- Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off
when you point it at yourself.
- Halogen Light - A work light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
- Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution
90% over a standard plug-in tool.
- Air Compressor - A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing the power of your mother-in-law's nagging complaints and using the resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house.
- Chainsaw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.
- Cordless Telephone - The handyman's 911.
Remember, If the women don't find you Handsome, They should at least find you Handy!!