Ponderisms | SouthernPaddler.com

Ponderisms

oldyaker

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
1,949
31
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your Doctor leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look anyway?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Deep Thoughts....... :roll:
 

catfish

Well-Known Member
Feb 7, 2007
996
3
jesup, ga.
yak I see you must have alot of time on your hand in between planes. :) :lol: :lol:

I have to admit those are good ones too. Jimmy the reason no one cares about your song you must be cracking pop corn instead of real corn. :lol: