From time to time, we think about, and maybe talk about, becoming "better". Self improvement, like a tough piece of steak, is better if taken in small bites, chewed on for a good while, and swallowed carefully. Let's pretend that one of us is deciding to make himself better. Not that any of us are bad, just that one of us would like to be better. How could he go about it?
In the past we were encouraged to write a list of things to improve about ourselves. And on New Year's Day, some would launch with enthusiasm. And typically, before the month ended, the list would already be forgotten - trampled in the dust of living our life.
One year I resolved to stop procastinating, and vowed to start the effort no later than by the of March! Frankly, that might have been the most honest that I ever was about such an undertaking. To have realistic expectations of success, that method was about as bad as having a long list and thinking it would be completed in a month. Neither one works very well. Human animals aren't built that way. So, what can work?
Well, a list is a very good idea. Write it down; think about it; decide to do it.
Take small bites. Start to change one thing - only one thing - at a time.
Break that one characteristic, or habit, into steps. Even smaller bites.
Practice several times a day, doing things differently on the first of those steps. Do that for a week.
Congratulate yourself, and continue to practice the very same thing for another week.
Don't stop practicing that singke, first, little step jntil it becomes an ingrained habit. Until you do it without thinking that you are trying to do it that way.
Then, start learning to do the second step of that first item on your list. Etc.
The proof that learning has occurred is a change in behavior. When we've learned the new habit, we've learned to improve that step of that goal. Not until. And when we do learn it - we can celebrate!
In the past we were encouraged to write a list of things to improve about ourselves. And on New Year's Day, some would launch with enthusiasm. And typically, before the month ended, the list would already be forgotten - trampled in the dust of living our life.
One year I resolved to stop procastinating, and vowed to start the effort no later than by the of March! Frankly, that might have been the most honest that I ever was about such an undertaking. To have realistic expectations of success, that method was about as bad as having a long list and thinking it would be completed in a month. Neither one works very well. Human animals aren't built that way. So, what can work?
Well, a list is a very good idea. Write it down; think about it; decide to do it.
Take small bites. Start to change one thing - only one thing - at a time.
Break that one characteristic, or habit, into steps. Even smaller bites.
Practice several times a day, doing things differently on the first of those steps. Do that for a week.
Congratulate yourself, and continue to practice the very same thing for another week.
Don't stop practicing that singke, first, little step jntil it becomes an ingrained habit. Until you do it without thinking that you are trying to do it that way.
Then, start learning to do the second step of that first item on your list. Etc.
The proof that learning has occurred is a change in behavior. When we've learned the new habit, we've learned to improve that step of that goal. Not until. And when we do learn it - we can celebrate!