+70°F (21°C) and above
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.
+60°F (16°C)
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.
+50°F (10°C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
+40°F (4°C)
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.
+32°F (0°C)
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
+20°F (-7°C)
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
+10°F (-12°C)
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0°F (-18°C)
People in Miami all die...
Michiganders lick the flagpole.
-20°F (-29°C)
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
-40°F (-40°C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
-60°F (-51°C)
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
enough.
-80°F (-62°C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.
-100°F (-73°C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
-297°F (-183°C)
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.
-460°F (-273°C)
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500°F (-296°C)
Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.
+60°F (16°C)
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.
+50°F (10°C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
+40°F (4°C)
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.
+32°F (0°C)
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
+20°F (-7°C)
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
+10°F (-12°C)
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0°F (-18°C)
People in Miami all die...
Michiganders lick the flagpole.
-20°F (-29°C)
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
-40°F (-40°C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
-60°F (-51°C)
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
enough.
-80°F (-62°C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.
-100°F (-73°C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
-297°F (-183°C)
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.
-460°F (-273°C)
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500°F (-296°C)
Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl