The Bear Remover

[rhutchinson]

THE BEAR REMOVER
A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he
looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear
Removers."

He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30
minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a
ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up
there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the
bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let
go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in
the back of the van.."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the
homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

 

[catfish]

thats a good one i just hope the homeowner doesn,t miss the dog. :wink: :lol:

 

[graybeard]

The Bear Remover, part two

So this kid in Alaska can't find work, and decides he wants to be a Bear Remover. He finds an old experienced Bear Remover and becomes his apprentice.

On his first day on the job, they receive a call and head out. They meet up with a homeowner, who tells them a bear is napping in his shed.

The old hand says, "Time to get you trained."

"Now, you go in there, and stumble around til you find the bear. When the bear growls, rub a little crap in his eyes. When he reaches up to rub them, tie his paws together and put the muzzle on him."

He hands the 'prentice a length of rope and a muzzle. The prentice takes the rope and says, "What about the crap?"

The old hand says, "Trust me. When the bear roars, it'll be there!"