Tips for moving South......Yeee -Hawwww!
1. Save all manner of bacon grease, you will be instructed on how to use it later.
2. If you forget a southerners name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba." You have a 75% chance of being right.
3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days it snows.
4. If you run your car into a ditch don't panic. Four men in the cab of a 4WD pick-up with a 12 pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
6. Do not buy food at the moavie store.
7.If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking. let alone eating.
8.Remember, "Y'all" is singular. "All Y'all" is plural, All Y'all's is plural possessive.
9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a Southern accent, unless it's a Southerner imitating a Boston accent.
10. Get used to hearing, "Y'all ain't from around here are ya."
11. People walk slower here.
12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerners vocabulary is the adjective "Big Ol truck" or "Big Ol boy." Eighty five percent begin their new Southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial of it.
14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
15. Be advised: The "He needed kill'n." defense is valid here.
16. If attending a funeral here in the South, remember that we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown and the tent is torn down.
17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey Y'all, wath this!" Stay out of his way! These are lilely the last words he will ever say.
18. Most Southerners don't use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of the windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
20. The winter wardrobe you brought out in September can now wait until November.
21. If ther is a prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow , your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything or not, it's just something your supposed to do.
22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is to be positioned in front of your trailer. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore be displayed.
23. Tornadoes and Southerners going thru a divorce have alot in common, either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.
24. Florida is not considered a Southern state. There are far more Northerners living there than Southerners.
25. In Southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor." You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud have mercy" and "Good Laud" and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
26. As you are cursing the person doing 15mph in a 55mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper lane and speed for this vehicle.
27. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees, rocks, and where buildings used to stand, you're better of trying to find it yourself.
1. Save all manner of bacon grease, you will be instructed on how to use it later.
2. If you forget a southerners name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba." You have a 75% chance of being right.
3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days it snows.
4. If you run your car into a ditch don't panic. Four men in the cab of a 4WD pick-up with a 12 pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
6. Do not buy food at the moavie store.
7.If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking. let alone eating.
8.Remember, "Y'all" is singular. "All Y'all" is plural, All Y'all's is plural possessive.
9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a Southern accent, unless it's a Southerner imitating a Boston accent.
10. Get used to hearing, "Y'all ain't from around here are ya."
11. People walk slower here.
12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerners vocabulary is the adjective "Big Ol truck" or "Big Ol boy." Eighty five percent begin their new Southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial of it.
14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
15. Be advised: The "He needed kill'n." defense is valid here.
16. If attending a funeral here in the South, remember that we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown and the tent is torn down.
17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey Y'all, wath this!" Stay out of his way! These are lilely the last words he will ever say.
18. Most Southerners don't use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of the windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
20. The winter wardrobe you brought out in September can now wait until November.
21. If ther is a prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow , your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything or not, it's just something your supposed to do.
22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is to be positioned in front of your trailer. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore be displayed.
23. Tornadoes and Southerners going thru a divorce have alot in common, either way, someone is going to lose a trailer.
24. Florida is not considered a Southern state. There are far more Northerners living there than Southerners.
25. In Southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor." You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud have mercy" and "Good Laud" and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
26. As you are cursing the person doing 15mph in a 55mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper lane and speed for this vehicle.
27. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees, rocks, and where buildings used to stand, you're better of trying to find it yourself.