My Modest New Year's Resolutions

[Kayak Jack]

25 New Year's resolutions I can keep

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.

3. Read less. Makes me think more.

4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. Maybe next week.

6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.

7. Get in a whole NEW rut!

8. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

9. Create loose ends.

10. Get more toys.

11. Get further in debt. (Actually, this one is my wife's. I just thought it would be nice to join her for togetherness.)

12. Believe politicians.

13. Break at least one traffic law.

14. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

15. Associate with even worse business clients.

16. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.

17. Wait around for opportunity.

18. Focus on the faults of others. Emulation a goal.

19. Mope about faults.

20. Never make New Year's resolutions again.

 

[Swampy]

Jack yer getting ready for retirement I see... :lol:

swampy

 

[oldsparkey]

Swampy

I don't want to burst your bubble but I will bet anything those are the only ones from last year he was able to keep and not break so he is just reusing them this year.

Besides ,if Jack retired then he would have to actually go to work , he has it made ...... his work is less stress then retirment and pay's more.

It's my understanding is that the more he pays them the more willing they are to keep him on. :?
Chuck.

 

[Kayak Jack]

(SNIP) It's my understanding is that the more he pays them the more willing they are to keep him on.

I used to have a job helping strippers get their "G" strings on, only $50 a week. Would have been more, but that's all I could afford to pay.

 

[oldsparkey]

I have a ton of come backs for what you said .... The USE TO part is what got me thinking but I will not even go there. :lol:
Chuck.

 

[Kayak Jack]

Chuck,

I hate like hell to have to admit it, but it's an old Woody Allen line. Everytime we have a fund raiser at the Lodge, an older friend and I always offer to have a kissing booth for $5. We tell them, "It would be more, but that's about all we can afford to pay."

 

[andrewp]

I try to make good New Years Resolutions ..... but then I give them up for Lent .............

 

[Kahuna]

Did it but don't like it...

I quit smoking, cold turkey....haven't had a problem..crave one occasionaly. Bad part about it...I loved to smoke. :evil: KAHUNA

I try to make good New Years Resolutions ..... but then I give them up for Lent .............

 

[Kayak Jack]

Kahuna - GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Andy - I gave up guilt for lent. Did it years ago. It opened up a WHOLE NEW WORLD for me. Never looked back.