Gotta love this lawyer. | SouthernPaddler.com

Gotta love this lawyer.

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,479
123
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
This was sent to me by itsatomato and I got a tickle out of it. Just looks like it belongs some where between the Humor & Such part of this thread.

Subject: Gotta love this lawyer............



Everyone who has ever bought a house can enjoy this - it's too good not to share! A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.

The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply: (actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."


Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we AND the FHA know it. I hope the hell you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was approved. :D

Chuck.
 

Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,976
171
86
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
In my line of work, real estate for the State of Michigan, I run into such items. Legal descriptions of property are more rich with these than one would either suspect - or want. I'm sure Br'r Bear hits them too.

Last summer, part of the legal description of a property I was buying had it's eastern boundary described partly by, "... a line running north-north-westerly up a ravine, ending at a large rock by the twin birch trees."

This legal description was originated about 1860. No one in living memory had ever seen the rock, and the birch trees have been wood ashes for 107 years now since the Diamond Match company burnt the town down on Christmas day of 1896.

(The above, though absolutely true, is from the "Gee Whiz Information Department, and is intended for use solely by the "Department of Repetition Department".
 

Swampy

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
1,736
0
Southeastern North Carolina
Instead of swallowing a viagra pill try inserting it as a sapository.... longer casts... er... spit path...
CAUTION HERE! remove your dentures! :shock:

Swampy... Hangin Moss Think Tank & Cultural Projectionist Extraordinaire
Planning now fo the year 2001
Make arraingements to attend the March,2004 siminar and pan for gold while you hear this years greatest speakers deliver messages of world wide importance on such topics as: When is enough mice enough?; Where do water spots show up on desert boats; Why do boat builders lead a vacant life; How to stretch a ten foot of a rubberband into a fifty foot fly line; Can paper mache playboats make it on class III waters? And many more exciting topics! Stay at the beautiful Hanging Swamp Gardens while you visit! Register now and get first choice on which branch to hang out on! Hurry! Hammocks are limited!
 

oldsparkey

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
10,479
123
Central , Florida
www.southernpaddler.com
Jack

I have to disagree with you .... Swampy has all sorts of swave , the man just ooses it from each pore in his suave body. Everyone that knows him calls him the Swaves Swampys or just S.S. for short. Why do you think he drives a Chevy .... he loaned his initals to them for there S.S Roadster.

The man is famous , heck our waitress at the Friendly Family Cafe about passed out when Swampy only told her .... I will have the Biscuits and Sausage Gravy, & some Eggs ( sunny side) on the side with the toast and coffee. A glass of water would be nice also , then later I will decide what I want for breakfast.

Darn , if he didn't get his meal 1st.

I have to protect him from any abuse cause he makes a darn good carrot & raisin salad. A body needs to protect there eats ya know and I sure don't want to get the chief mad at me.

How is that for protecting you swampy ...Ole Buddy..... what does Jack know?
Chuck.
 

Swampy

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
1,736
0
Southeastern North Carolina
Aw shucks .... hit weren't nuthin' :lol:

Mama would have been proud o' me!

(Mom an' paw would play hide and seek wit me... they'd hide me an' sumtimes hit would take MONTHS fer me to find out whar they moved off to! :shock: )

Now ta work on th' edit'in dept.......

swampy ---- soon to have th' mount needed to attend th' first tri-mester classes at Bar's Bodine College o' Humane Bettermentz
(I iz workin on mah entrace exsamez... "Look Jane! See Spot run... run run you...." he he... I iz gonna blank tha'un out!)
 

Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,976
171
86
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
Swampus Flaxidius,

You have a champion there; Sparkus Arrestus will protect your scrawny neck. (I'm bettin that he LIKES them pom poms. All a-wiggly in the pink costume, ehh?) "RAH RAH Sis boom BAH!" Prance lightly now, girls.

Oh well, here I sit, all broken hearted. You gize a playing down there in da soufland. Just wait til I get you up here in a real man's land - the Nawth Woods.
 

Kayak Jack

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2003
13,976
171
86
Okemos / East Lansing Michigan
Gritz n possum! Who'd a thunk it? By Gawd Granny Clampett was right all along!

Go to the pharmacy; pick up a bottle of syrup of ipecac (the stuff to make you urp up if you swallowed poison); read the label. First two ingredients are gritz and possum.

( In that case I will bet anything that it would be a good snack on a Ritz Cracker while paddling :p ..
Chuck. )
 

Swampy

Well-Known Member
Aug 25, 2003
1,736
0
Southeastern North Carolina
Chuck ya giy more rasins next salad!
Jack, "real men" up north???? Yer forgettin that Al is now an offical reb an now the ranks o' "real men" is gittin narrower up thar!
Oldyaker iz gonna come down hare an' yer be losin another un.
Whilst thou lurks out thy frosted windows at a world of white, We'st be fishing upon waters fair and bring forth giants into laden tables for dinners supreme. Aw.... Jack ya need to come on down and throw in with us. You could write it off on taxes ( under education) The whole trip!!!
In fact all you guys and gals need to take a "spring" break.
Now I'm worried why Chuck likes me..... "Swave" 8) ? No Jack, can't be the pom-poms.... I only wear them during Navy-Army games... this one has be buffaloed.....
swampy